I Don't Care If I Ever Work

I Wish I Had More Hands, So I Could Give Those Titties Four Thumbs Down!

My Kids Look Actually Happy. And I Learned Early On That Perfectionism And Parenthood Is A Toxic Combination For Everybody Involved. In Other Words, So Many Things Can Flourish Naturally. All You Gotta Do Is Make Sure The Soil's Right. I View Myself More Like A Guide Than A Ruler.

Because I Was Surrounded By So Much Negativity At Some Point That It Took Me Going Back And Doing Stand-up To Realize, You Know, People Really Like Me.

I'm Dave Chappelle And I'm A Chronic Masturbator.

Being Famous Is Great, It's Not Like Bad Or Horrible Or Anything.