I Don't Care If I Ever Work

What Is Wrong With Me I Just Bought A Bag Of Weed From An Infant.

Money Is The Fuel For Choices. Money Gives Me Choices, So It's Not Nothing, It's Something. But It's Not The End All, Be All. There Are Other Things In My Life That I Did Not Purchase With Money That Are Very Valuable.

I Just Always Loved Stand-up. It's Like Magic. You Say Something, And A Whole Room Full Of People Laughs Together. Say Something Else, They Laugh Again. The Fact That People Come To See That And Participate In That... I Don't Know, It's Just Like Magic.

Dave! Relax! Close Your Buttcheeks!

At The Time, I Was Reading This Miles Davis Book, And He Was Talking About Coming To New York Right After He Was In High School. It Kind Of Made Me Feel Like, "yeah." I Didn't Want To Go To College; I Wanted To Do Stand-up. And I Figured, "what's The Point Of Doing Stand-up Around Dc? I'm Always Going To Be Under-appreciated There Because I Started There." I Felt Like I Was Strong Enough And Unique Enough That I Should Give It A Big Leash To Shine. New York Was The Best Thing That Ever Happened To Me As A Comedian.