Fields' Reply: He'd Think I Was A

Never Eat At A Place Called 'moms', But If The Only Other Place In Town Has A Sign That Says 'eats', Go Back To Moms.

I Didn't Squawk About The Steak, Dear. I Merely Said I Didn't See That Old Horse That Used To Be Tethered Outside Here.

It Is Well To Remember That There Are Five Reasons For Drinking: The Arrival Of A Friend, One's Present Or Future Thirst, The Excellence Of The Cognac, Or Any Other Reason

Once, During Prohibition, I Was Forced To Live For Days On Nothing But Food And Water.

Women Are Like Elephants To Me. I Like To Look At Them, But I Wouldn't Want To Own One.