I Certainly Do Not Drink All The

Never Eat At A Place Called 'moms', But If The Only Other Place In Town Has A Sign That Says 'eats', Go Back To Moms.

Thou Shalt Not Take The Name Of The Lord Thy God In Vain Unless You've Used Up All The Other Four-letter Words.

After Two Days In The Hospital, I Turn To The Nurse.

I Have Been Advised By The Best Medical Authority, At My Age, Not To Attempt To Give Up Alcohol.

All My Available Funds Are Completely Tied Up In Cash.