I Bought My Son An Indestructible Toy.

My Son Has A Big Christmas Problem - What Do You Buy For A Father Who Has Everything And You're Using It?

Every Year My Boss Used To Give Me A Bottle Of Expensive Brandy Because I'd Told Him That My Doctor Suggested A Drink Once In A While. This Year My Boss Gave Me The Name Of A New Doctor.

I Never Stole A Joke In My Life. I Just Find Them Before They're Lost.

This Is How It Is Today: The Teachers Are Afraid Of The Principals. The Principals Are Afraid Of The Superintendents. The Superintendents Are Afraid Of The Board Of Education. The Board Is Afraid Of The Parents. The Parents Are Afraid Of The Children. The Children Are Afraid Of Nothing!

I Really Doubt Whether Evolution Ever Works, How Then Come Mothers Have Only Two Hands