I Bought A Perfect Second Car... A

My Mother Never Breast Fed Me, She Told Me She Only Liked Me As A Friend.

My Old Man Never Liked Me. He Gave Me My Allowance In Traveler's Checks.

They Change The Sheets Every Day... From One Bed To Another.

One Year They Asked Me To Be Poster Boy - For Birth Control.

I Shouldn't Tell Jokes About My Wife. She's Attached To A Machine That Keeps Her Alive... The Refrigerator.