I Bought A Perfect Second Car... A

It Would Be Great If People Never Got Angry At Someone For Doing Something They've Done Themselves.

Steak And Sex, My Favorite Pair. I Get Them Both Very Rare.

My Wife Made Me Join A Bridge Club... I Jump Off Next Tuesday.

My Boy Is A Mean Kid. I Came Home The Other Day And Saw Him Taping Worms To The Sidewalk, He Sits There And Watches The Birds Get Hernias. Well, Only Last Christmas I Gave Him A B-b Gun And He Gave Me A Sweatshirt With A Bulls-eye On The Back. I Told My Kids, "someday, You'll Have Kids Of Your Own." One Of Them Said, "so Will You."

I Said To A Girl I'd Been Seeing, Come Home With Me, Honey, And I'll Show You Where It's At. She Said, You'd Better, Because The Last Time I Could'nt Find It.