I Bought A Perfect Second Car... A

You Live With Life's Disappointments And Learn From Them. At Seventy-eight, I Know It All.

I Like Southern Girls. They Talk So Slow That By The Time They Say No, I Made It Already.

I Got My First Break And Became A Singing Waiter At Eighteen Or Nineteen. I Couldn't Make A Living At It. I Quit. Then I Got Married And Sold Aluminum Siding. My Wife Had Problems Physically. It Was Not Good.

A Sense Of Humor Is Rare. It Isn't Telling A Joke About How There Are Three Ways To Get To Heaven. It's Being In A Restaurant And Hearing Someone Say, Everyone's Got Their Tale Of Woe, And Then Turning Around And Saying, Unfortunately, In Life, There's More Woe Than Tail.

When I Was A Kid We Were So Poor, If I Hadn't Been A Boy I Wouldn't Have Had Anything To Play With.