I Believe That I Have Such A

I Can't Believe Anyone Would Voluntarily Run 26 Miles. Sometimes I Sit On The Couch Cross-legged Because I Don't Feel Like Walking To The Bathroom.

For The Record? I Have Never Been Her Baby. In Fact, I Reject The Notion Of Coming Out Of Her Body. I Prefer To Believe I Was Hatched, Or Perhaps Purchased.

Fletch Then Kisses Me On The Forehead Before Opening The Cabinet Under The Coffeemaker To Grab Placemats And Napkins. Retrieving These Items Is His Job Because I Kind Of Don't Like To Bend. I Also Refuse To Carry Anything Heavier Than My Purse.

I'm The Person Who Says Every Single Thing She Thinks, Sometimes To Others' Amusement, And Almost Always To My Detriment.

In Real Life, I Tend To Yell At People A Lot. Not Because I'm Bossy Or Mean, But Because I'm Frustrated.