I Think People Tend To Be Very

I’m Instantly Mortified By My Fat, Uncontrollable Mouth, But That’s When It Occurs To Me That My Humor Is A Self-defense Mechanism. Even Though I May Come Off Like A Stark Raving Asshat, Being Funny Is The Most Important Tool I Have To Stay Sane. The Ability To Say What I Think Is The Key To Allowing Me To Feel In Control.

Seriously, Our Nation Is Never Going To Be On The Same Page On Issues Like Gun Control, Welfare, The Economy, The Environment, Etc. I Doubt We'll Ever Come To Terms On Tastes Great Or Less Filling And Hybrids Versus Hummers, And There Will Always Be Yankees Fans And Red Sox Fans, And Never The 'twain Shall Meet. Fortunately, All It Takes For Us To Be Of One Mind Is Some Buttercream Frosting.

Were I Forced To Describe This Woman In One Word, That Word Would Be...herpes.

I’m Busy Sorting Through Our New Collection Of Rhinestone Jewelry. Should Anyone Be In The Market For Sparkly Accessories The Size Of A Hubcap, This Is The Place To Get Them. Earlier Today, A Customer Picked Up One Of The Enormous Chandelier-style Offerings And Asked, 'do Those Be Genuine Rhimestones?' I Couldn’t Even Begin To Explain Everything That Was Wrong With Her Sentence, So I Simply Replied, 'yes. They Do Be Genuine.

As A Reader, I Notice Political Views Regardless Of Whether Or Not The Book Is Fiction. What Annoys Me Is When Said Views Do Nothing To Advance The Narrative.