I Believe In God, But I Don't

It Was A Stretch To Imagine That Barbara Walters Might Want To Give It All Up For Ed Couch, But Evelyn Tried Her Hardest. Of Course, Even Though She Was Not Religious, It Was A Comfort To Know That The Bible Backed Her Up In Being A Doormat.

In Her Opinion, Alexander Graham Bell And Clarence Birdseye Are The Two Greatest Americans That Ever Lived Excluding Robert E. Lee. She Believes We Never Lost The War Between The States, That General Lee Thought General Grant Was The Butler And Just Naturally Handed Him His Sword.

I Believe Poor People Are Good People, Except The Ones That Are Mean . . .

Daddy Gave Me Real Useful Information To Protect Me In The Real World. If Anyone Hits Me, I'm Not To Hit Them Back. I Wait Until Their Back Is Turned, Then Hit Them In The Head With A Brick.

Face It Girls. I'm Older And I Have More Insurance.