I Became A Stand-up Comedienne Because I

The Last Thing I'd Learn, Well Into My Career, Was How To Get On, How To Say Hello, How To Get In With The Audience.

Whatever You May Look Like, Marry A Man Your Own Age - As Your Beauty Fades, So Will His Eyesight.

Choose A Checked Or Striped Wall Paper. People Will Be Halfway Home Before They Are Able To Focus.

Tennis Is Like Marrying For Money. Love Has Nothing To Do With It.

My Sister-in-law Is So Skinny That She Has A Striped Dress With Only One Stripe.