I Am The World's Oldest Teenager. I've

You Live With Life's Disappointments And Learn From Them. At Seventy-eight, I Know It All.

I Have Tried A Little Kinky Stuff. A Woman Called Me And Said, 'i Have Mirrors All Over My Bedroom. Bring A Bottle.' I Brought Windex.

What A Childhood I Had - I Was Ten Years Old When I Found Out Alpo Was Dog Food.

Well With Girls I Don't Get No Respect. I Had A Blind Date. I Waited Two Hours On The Corner. A Girl Walked By. I Said Are You Louise? She Said, Are You Rodney? I Said, Yeah. She Said, I'm Not Louise.

I'm A Downer. I've Been Depressed My Whole Life. Figure It Out.