I Ain't Ever Had A Job, I

The Crawfords Played Everywhere, In Every Ballpark. And We Won, Won Like We Invented The Game.

No Man Can Avoid Being Born Average, But No Man Has To Stay Average.

There Never Was A Man On Earth Who Pitched As Much As Me. But The More I Pitched, The Stronger My Arm Would Get.

Avoid Fried Meats Which Angry Up The Blood. If Your Stomach Disputes You, Lie Down And Pacify It With Cool Thoughts. Keep The Juices Flowing By Jangling Around Gently As You Move. Go Very Light On The Vices, Such As Carrying On In Society. The Social Ramble Ain't Restful. Avoid Running At All Times. Don't Look Back. Something Might Be Gaining On You.

Throw High Risers At The Chin; Throw Peas At The Knees; Throw It Here When They're Lookin' There; Throw It There When They're Lookin' Here.