I May Not Be The Bestest Pitcher

Nobody Likes The Ball Low And Away, But That's Where You're Going To Get It From Me. I Been Pitching It There 50 Years, Away From Them. That Way They Can't Hurt You. You Keep The Ball In The Park.

If Your Stomach Disputes You, Lie Down And Pacify It With Cool Thoughts.

One Time I Snuck A Ball On With Me And When I Went To Winding Up, I Threw One Of Them Balls To First And One To Second. I Was So Smooth I Picked Off Both Runners And Fanned The Batter Without That Ump Or The Other Team Even Knowing It.

Throw High Risers At The Chin; Throw Peas At The Knees; Throw It Here When They're Lookin' There; Throw It There When They're Lookin' Here.

I've Said It Once And I'll Say It A A Hundred Times, I'm Forty-four Years Old.