I Admire The Elsie Tanners And Barbara

I've Got This Horrible Feeling That I'm One Of Those People Who'll Always Have To Flog Their Guts Out To Get Anywhere.

I Admire The Elsie Tanners And Barbara Windsors Of The World: People Who Have Crawled Back From The Abyss. I'm Quite Camp In That Respect.

I Have A Fear Of Poverty In Old Age. I Have This Vision Of Myself Living In A Skip And Eating Cat Food. It's Because I'm Freelance, And I've Never Had A Proper Job. I Don't Have A Pension, And My Savings Are Dwindling. I Always Thought Someone Would Just Come Along And Look After Me.

I've Just Got Crap Hair. Although I Inherited A Lot Of Stuff From My Dad, Including Giant Knees, I Didn't Get His Good, Thick Hair. I Got My Mother's Thin, Wispy, Non-event Hair Instead.

I'm A Schizophrenic Mix Of Wannabe Glamourpuss And Absolute Slob, And My Style Is Very Much Magistrate-meets-barmaid.