Our Tree Was So Puny We Used

I Wanted To Get The Guy Who Works Next To Me In The Office Something He Really Wants, But How Do You Wrap Up A Saloon?

I Bought An Ideal Gift For My Mother-in-law - A Battery-operated Mouth.

I Don't Worry Too Much About Sex Education In The Schools. If The Kids Learn It Like They Do Everything Else, They Won't Know How.

I'd Rather Be A Could-be If I Cannot Be An Are; Because A Could-be Is A Maybe Who Is Reaching For A Star. I'd Rather Be A Has-been Than A Might-have-been, By Far; For A Might Have-been Has Never Been, But A Has Was Once An Are.

I Was In A Department Store And I Saw A Weird-looking Gadget. I Asked The Young Saleslady What It Was. She Answered, "it Doesn't Do Anything. It's Just A Christmas Gift."