Happiness Means Quiet Nerves.

This Job Will Drive Me To Drink, And For That Reason, I Will Be Eternally Grateful.

If A Thing Is Worth Having, It's Worth Cheating For.

No Doubt Exists That All Women Are Crazy; It's Only A Question Of Degree.

You Can Fool Some Of The People Some Of The Time -- And That's Enough To Make A Decent Living.

When Life Hands You Lemons, Make Whisky Sours.