If A Thing Is Worth Having, It's

All My Available Funds Are Completely Tied Up In Cash.

Say Anything That You Like About Me Except That I Drink Water.

It's Quite True I'm Not Drinking Anymore; However, I'm Not Drinking Any Less Either.

In Every Big City There Is Always One Surefire Laugh, And That Lies In Hanging Some Piece Of Idiocy Upon The People Of A Nearby City Or Town.

When Doctors And Undertakers Meet, They Wink At Each Other.