If A Thing Is Worth Having, It's

Beer: Helping Ugly People Have Sex Since 3000 B. C.

Thou Shalt Not Take The Name Of The Lord Thy God In Vain Unless You've Used Up All The Other Four-letter Words.

Fields' Reply: He'd Think I Was A Sissy.

A Merry Christmas To All My Friends Except Two.

When You Wake Up In The Morning, Smile - And Get It Over With.