If A Thing Is Worth Having, It's

The Income Tax Was Devised To Give Lawyers And Certified Public Accountants Business. Few Persons Can Make Head, Tail, Or Middle Out Of It. Einstein Admitted He Couldn't.

Sex Isn't Necessary. You Don't Die Without It, But You Can Die Having It.

Always Carry A Flagon Of Whiskey In Case Of Snakebite, And Furthermore Always Carry A Small Snake.

The World Is Getting To Be Such A Dangerous Place, A Man Is Lucky To Get Out Of It Alive.

Thou Shalt Not Take The Name Of The Lord Thy God In Vain Unless You've Used Up All The Other Four-letter Words.