The Stuff That Made Me Mad 20

When You're Young And You Get To Choose Between Sleep And Sex You Take Sex Everytime. You Start Getting Older, You Get To Choose Between Sleep And Sex, You Choose Sleep And Just Hope You Have A Dream About Sex.

You May Be A Redneck If... Your Lifetime Goal Is To Own A Fireworks Stand.

For The First Time Ever I Was Taking The Family On The Road. We Stayed With My In-laws, Which On Life's List Of Experiences Ranks Right Below Sitting In A Tub Full Of Scissors.

I Was Talking To Alan Jackson. He Had His Second Greatest Hits Album. He Said, You Don't Ever Get Into This Really Thinking You're Gonna Make It.

Watching A Baby Being Born Is A Little Like Watching A Wet St. Bernard Coming In Through The Cat Door.