Golf Is Played With The Arms.

When I Ask You What Club To Use, Look The Other Way And Don't Answer.

I Shot A Wild Elephant In Africa Thirty Yards From Me, And It Didn't Hit The Ground Until It Was Right At My Feet. I Wasn't A Bit Scared. But A Four Foot Putt Scares Me To Death.

Golf Course Architects Make Me Sick. They Can't Play Themselves, So They Rig The Courses So Nobody Else Can Play Either.

You've Just One Problem. You Stand Too Close To The Ball After You've Hit It.

I Looked Like A Monkey Trying To Wrestle A Football.