For The Sake Of Your Marriage, Get

I Love Hitting Into The Rough Because It Gets Me Close To The People.

As An Actor, That's Nerve-wracking Enough [drunk And Doing Coke] Because You Have To Do It At The Right Level.

Having Children Is Like Living In A Frat House - Nobody Sleeps, Everything's Broken, And There's A Lot Of Throwing Up.

When You Wake Up One Day And Say, "you Know What? I Don't Think I Ever Need To Sleep Or Have Sex Again." Congratulations, You're Ready (to Have Children).

Whenever I Walk Off The Golf Course, I Thank God That I'm Able To Tell A Joke. I Thank God I'm Good At Something.