In School, I Wasn't A Very Good

I'm Now Unemployed. It's A Weird Feeling With No Work, But At Least There's Still Golf. Standup Comedy Is Like My Core, It's What I Do. But I Want To Be A Pro Golfer. It's A Love/hate Relationship With Golf. I Can Come Away Feeling So Serene, And Yet, It's The Thing That I Can Let Get To Me To Throw A Club And Say Curses That Don't Even Exist. I'm Obsessed With Something That Won't Let Me Master It. I Don't Know. I Need Therapy.

If I Have Sex, I Know My Quarterly Estimated Taxes Must Be Due. And If It's Oral Sex, I Know It's Time To Renew My Driver's License.

Right After 'raymond' I Had A World-is-my-oyster Attitude, But I Found Out I Don't Like Oysters. I Had This Existential Emptiness.'what Is My Purpose? Who Am I?' I Had A Big Identity Crisis.

I'll Be Spending The Holidays With My Family. Nothing Special, Just Some Light Bickering And Biting Sarcasm.

I Had To Be Naked [in Vinyl], But I Was Almost More Nervous About Having To Be Drunk. The Director Wasn't Going To Yell, "too Big!," During The Nude Scene. For The Drunk Scene, You Can Be Bad Drunk Or Good Drunk. We'll See. My Wife Was Not Happy, Hearing About It.