Foosball Screwed Up My Perception Of Soccer.

People Teach Their Dogs To Sit; It's A Trick. I've Been Sitting My Whole Life, And A Dog Has Never Looked At Me As Though He Thought I Was Tricky.

What Am I Drinking? Nyquil On The Rocks, For When You're Feeling Sick But Sociable.

I Know People Who Believe In Ghosts But Don't Believe In Themselves.

When You Put Listerine In Your Mouth, It Hurts. Germs Do Not Go Quietly.

As An Adult, I'm Not Supposed To Go Down Slides. So If I'm At The Top Of A Slide, I Have To Pretend That I Got There Accidentally. "how The Hell Did I Get Up Here? I Guess I Have To Slide Down. Whee!" That's What You Say When You're Having Fun. You Refer To Yourself And Some Other People.