Money Will Not Buy Happiness, But It

We Frequently Hear Of People Dying From Too Much Drinking. That This Happens Is A Matter Of Record. But The Blame Is Always Placed On Whisky. Why This Should Be I Never Could Understand. You Can Die From Drinking Too Much Of Anything - Coffee, Water, Milk, Soft Drinks And All Such Stuff As That. And So As Long As The Presence Of Death Lurks With Anyone Who Goes Through The Simple Act Of Swallowing. I Will Make Mine Whisky.

I Like Thieves. Some Of My Best Friends Are Thieves. Why, Just Last Week We Had The President Of The Bank Over For Dinner.

How Is The Human Race Going To Survive Now That The Cost Of Living Has Gone Up Two Dollars A Quart?

Try Till You Succeed...if You Don't Succeed Once, Then Destroy All Evidence Of The Fact That You Tried!

I Believe In Tying The Marriage Knot, As Long As It's Around The Woman's Neck