I'm Like Will Rogers, I Never Met

When You Talk About The World's Greatest Entertainer You Have To Say Al Jolson Because There Was No One Like Him. Only Judy Garland And Perhaps Frank Sinatra Got Anywhere Near Him!

Any Man Who Would Walk Five Miles Through The Snow, Barefoot, Just To Return A Library Book So He Could Save Three Cents - That's My Kind Of Guy.

I Gambled At The Crap Table All Night And Finally Lost $8, But During That Time The House Gave Me Four Drinks And Two Cigars, So It Was Still A Lot Cheaper Than Renting A Room.

When Another Comedian Has A Lousy Show, I'm The First One To Admit It.

Modesty Is My Best Quality.