Gags Die, Humor Doesn't.

It's Not So Much Knowing When To Speak, When To Pause.

I Feel Responsible For Johnny Ray's Success. See Many Years Ago I Asked Him To Be On My Show And He Asked For A Lot Of Money And I Cried. And He Stole That From Me.

I Was Born In Waukegan A Long, Long Time Ago. As A Matter Of Fact, Our Rabbi Was An Indian.

I'm Like Will Rogers, I Never Met A Man I Didn't Like... Well, Eichmann Maybe.

I Believe In Being Honest With Myself. If There's One Thing I Hate It's When A Comedian Is Great And Won't Admit It. I've Never Met One Like That, But If I Did, I'd Hate Them.