Everyone [of My Kids] Can Ride A

I Discovered On School Days, When They've Got To Get Up At 6:30, They Won't Get Out Of Bed. But On The Weekends, They Were Up At 6 A.m. I Was Like, "why Do You Guys Wake Up So Early On The Weekends?" It's Like, "because I Wake Up And I Think, Is It A Tv Day? And If It Is..." So We Had To Change That Rule. I'm Like, "thank You For Telling Me What I Need To Do."

I Tell My Kids, "look, Your Life Is A Video Game, And I Have To Get You From Level Zero To 18 As An Independent Person With All Your Skills And Limbs Intact. Every Time You Hit Your Brother Or Throw Food, You're Taking Us All Back."

I've Had A Little Bad, Bad Media Luck The New Year. Well, Apparently I'm Dating Bill Clinton, Which Makes Me Nervous. I Didn't Know, Though.

I Do Find It Odd People Choose To Do Stuff That Makes Them Look Like Crazy Hollywood Faces, But I've Got Zero Judgment.

I Use An App Called Choremonster. The Kids Earn Points For Brushing Teeth Or Picking Up The Dog Poop. It's Genius.