Everybody Loves Somebody Sometime.

Johnny Carson Is A Comedian Who Is Seen Every Night In Millions Of Bedrooms All Over America...and That's Why His Last Wife Left Him.

Motivation Is A Lotta Crap.

If You Drink Don't Drive. Don't Even Putt.

The Reason I Drink Is Because When I'm Sober I Think I'm Eddie Fisher.

I Know It's The Gentlemanly Thing To Let The Wife File. But, Then, Everybody Knows I'm No Gentleman.