Television Has A Real Problem. They Have

Put Yourself In Hamlet's Shoes. Suppose You Were A Prince, And You Came Back From College To Discover That Your Uncle Had Murdered Your Father And Married Your Mother, And You Fell In Love With A Beautiful Girl And Mistakenly Murdered Her Father, And Then She Went Crazy And Drowned Herself. What Would You Do? Go Back For A Masters?

I Have No Idea Where I'm Going But Here's The Real Question: What Am I Doing Here In The First Place?

The Reason I Don't Play Golf Is Because I Was A Caddie When I Was 13. Women Never Gave Up A Golf Ball That Was Lost Somewhere In The Trees And Thicket And Down Through The Poison Ivy. It Was During One Of These Searches That I Vowed To The Lord Above That If I Ever Earned Enough Money I Would Never Set Foot On A Course Again.

Have You Ever Seen A Candidate Talking To A Rich Person On Television?

People Who Live In Glass Houses Have To Wash Their Windows All The Time.