English Coffee Tastes Like Water That Has

My Father Never Raised His Hand To Any One Of His Children, Except In Self-defense.

He Dreamed He Was Eating Shredded Wheat And Woke Up To Find The Mattress Half Gone.

Radio Is A Bag Of Mediocrity Where Little Men With Carbon Minds Wallow In Sluice Of Their Own Making.

Some Movie Stars Wear Their Sunglasses Even In Church. They're Afraid God Might Recognize Them And Ask For Autographs.

My Hometown Was So Dull That One Time The Tide Went Out And Never Came Back.