Christmas Seems To Start Earlier And Earlier

When Deciding Between Two Competing Theories, Always Go With The One That Doesn't Involve A Magic Spell.

I Love England. In Fact, They're Getting To Know Me So Well At Heathrow Immigration That This Time I Was Able To Completely Bypass The Six Months Rabies Quarantine.

Well! I Feel Happy These Days. I've Started Taking A Herbal Anti-depressant. It's Called Saint John's Wort. Apparently It's The Best-selling Anti-depressant In Many Places. It's The Most Popular Anti-depressant In Germany... After, I'm Guessing, Amnesia.

I Was Walking Home One Night And A Guy Hammering On A Roof Called Me A Paranoid Little Weirdo. In Morse Code.

I Got A Letter From The Irs. Apparently I Owe Them $800. So I Sent Them A Letter Back. I Said, If You'll Remember, I Fastened My Return With A Paper Clip, Which According To Your Very Own Latest Government Pentagon Spending Figures Will More Than Make Up For The Difference.