Children Love Me, Dammit!

Not To Mention Our Former Tag Team Champions Lost Their Titles After My Good Friend Christian Was Hit In The Genitals With A Hockey Stick By A Midgit! I Mean Enough Is Enough

Pro Wrestling Was There, And I Was Good At It, Thank God. I Started Getting A Lot Of Offers, But Unfortunately, At Wwe I Was Under A Tight Leash. I Think It Had A Lot To Do With The Rock Making The Transition, And Me Possibly Being The Next Guy - You Know, The Company Didnt Want To Lose Another Top Performer.

If Your Olympic Hero Were To Use The Worm In The 1996 Olympic Games, It Would Be So Embarassing To All The Other Atheletes - And Our Country, Mind You- That The Usa Would Have Finished Behind Guam.

Join Me In Olympic Heros For Abstinence. The Best Sex Is No Sex.

You Can Prance And You Can Dance, But When It Comes To Relations, Keep It In Your Pants.