Boxers Don't Have Sex Before A Fight.

Put Smarties Tubes On Cats Legs, Make Them Walk Like A Robot.

You Go, Well You Can't Joke About Race. Well If You're From A Different Race And That's Your Experience Of The World And You Want To Talk About That, Then Fine. Or You Can't Talk About Disability, But Disabled Comics Can Talk About That.

Swimming Is Good For You, Especially If You're Drowning. Not Only Do You Get A Cardiovascular Workout But Also You Don't Die.

I Think They Got It Wrong With Saddam Hussein. They Thought He Had The A-bomb. Instead He Had A Bomb.

Once I Was Doing A Sponsored Walk. In The End I Managed To Raise So Much Money, I Could Afford A Taxi.