Put Smarties Tubes On Cats Legs, Make

The First Few Weeks Of Joining Weight Watchers, You're Just Finding Your Feet.

You Never Want To Be The Grumpy Guy, Although I Do Have Quite A Grumpy Face.

My Mum Told Me The Best Time To Ask My Dad For Anything Was During Sex. Not The Best Advice I'd Ever Been Given. I Burst In Through The Bedroom Door Saying "can I Have A New Bike?". He Was Very Upset. His Secretary Was Surprisingly Nice About It. I Got The Bike.

A Surprising Amount Of My Jokes Sound Very Implausible But Are True.

Swimming Is Good For You, Especially If You're Drowning. Not Only Do You Get A Cardiovascular Workout But Also You Don't Die.