Put Smarties Tubes On Cats Legs, Make

Tv's Not The Same Buzz. If Someone Tells You Three Million People Watched The Show Last Week, That's Good But, When You Walk Out In Front Of 1,000, You Think, 'oh My God, This Had Better Be Good'.

When People Come Over To My House For Dinner, I Always Have A Vegetarian Option. They Can Make Do, Or They Can **** Off!

I Think That Comedians, More Than Any Other Type Of Celebrity, Have To Keep Their Humour And Keep Their Feet On The Ground. If They Start Taking Themselves Too Seriously, They're Heading For A Fall.

There's Things That I Couldn't Joke About But Other People Could.

I Saw A Charity Appeal In The Guardian The Other Day, And It Read "little Zuki Has To Walk 13 Miles A Day Just To Fetch Water". And I Couldn't Help Thinking, She Should Move.