Put Smarties Tubes On Cats Legs, Make

My Girlfriend Bought A Cook Book The Other Day Called 'cheap And Easy Vegetarian Cooking'. Which Is Perfect For Her, Because Not Only Is She Vegetarian.

I Was A Christian. I Didn't Want To Have Sex Before Marriage, I Was A Bit Uptight And Not Very Self-confident. I Was A Virgin Until I Was 26.

I Pay What I Have To And Not A Penny More.

All Comedians Are A Bit Attention-seeking And I'm No Different. Anyone With The Audacity To Want To Be Listened To For An Hour And A Half Must Be.

A Surprising Amount Of My Jokes Sound Very Implausible But Are True.