I Like To Write A Joke Without

Eighteen Years Since The Chernobyl Disaster. Is It Just Me Surprized? Still No Superheroes!

If I'm At Home For The Weekend - And That Is Almost Never - I Tend To Get Twitchy At About Eight O'clock In The Evening Because My Body Clock Is Timed To Go On Stage. I Don't Know What To Do With Myself.

Saying That You Don't Believe In Magic But Do Believe In God Is A Bit Like Saying You Don't Have Sex With Dogs, Except Labradors.

My Girlfriend Said She Wanted Me To Tease Her, So I Said "alright, Fatty."

Jesus Loves You... He's Not 'in Love' With You.