Beethoven Wrote In Three Flats A Lot.

A Smile Is A Curve Which Can Set A Lot Of Things Straight.

In My Youth, I Wanted To Be A Great Pantomimist -- But I Found I Had Nothing To Say.

You Want Something By Bach? Which One, Johann Sebastian Or Jacques Offen?

Well, All's Fair In Love, War And Fooling The Critics.

And Now, In Honour Of The 150th Anniversary Of Beethoven's Death, I Would Like To Play 'clear The Saloon', Er, 'clair De Lune', By Debussy. I Don't Play Beethoven So Well, But I Play Debussy Very Badly, And Beethoven Would Have Liked That.