People Come Up To Me And Say,

You Know What I Hate The Most? People That Imitate Owls.

Don't Wear Fur! Did You Know, A Single Fur Coat Takes Fifteen Trees, Just For The Protest Signs?

Anger Punishes The Bearer's Heart. Who Remains Angry Suffers Most. For Many, The Search For Perfection Virtually Guarantees It Will Be Found, And Disregarded In Order To Continue The Search. Some Mornings It Just Doesn't Seem Worth It To Gnaw Through The Leather Straps.

I'm Not Catholic, But I Gave Up Picking My Belly Button For Lint.

My Girlfriend Told Me That She Was Seeing Another Man. I Told Her To Rub Her Eyes.