When I Was 10, I Beat Up

I Told My Wife She Looks Sexy With Black Fingernails. Now She Thinks I Slammed The Car Door On Her Hand On Purpose.

When I Was A Kid, My Nickname Was Mr. Baseball. Because Of The Stitches.

Countries Are Making Nuclear Weapons Like There Is No Tomorrow.

I Was Walking Down The Street. Something Caught My Eye, And Dragged It Fifteen Feet.

I Love England. In Fact, They're Getting To Know Me So Well At Heathrow Immigration That This Time I Was Able To Completely Bypass The Six Months Rabies Quarantine.