When I Was 10, I Beat Up

I Was In A Bar The Other Night, Hopping From Barstool To Barstool, Trying To Get Lucky, But There Wasn't Any Gum Under Any Of Them.

How Many People Here Have Telekenetic Powers? Raise My Hand.

I Used To Be Scared Of Pretty Girls, Until One Confessed They're Just As Scared Of Me.

I'm Not Catholic, But I Gave Up Picking My Belly Button For Lint.

I'm Very Religious, You Know. Now, Ok, If By 'religious', You Mean That I Go To Church Every Sunday, Read The Bible Faithfully, And I Listen To Debbie Boone, Umm, I'm Not Religious In That Sense... But If By 'religious' You Mean That I Love Others And Try To Help Them Whenever Possible... Again, No. But If By 'religious' You Mean That I Like To Eat Coleslaw... Yeah, Ok, Ok!