Edgar Had A Heart Attack, And I'm

I Said To My Husband, 'my Boobs Have Gone, My Stomach's Gone, Say Something Nice About My Legs.' He Said, 'blue Goes With Everything.'

Learn What Not To Expect. Irish Catholic They Get Sh**** Little Rings. Irish Women Get Crappy Rings. Baptist Get The Worst Because They Get The Rings Under Water. When It Comes Up, It's Garbage. Jewish, Big Rings. Episcopalian Big Rings. Italians-the Best, Because They Get Them Off Of Dead People, And Second Wives Get The Biggest Rings Of All.

The Fun Of Working On The Road Means Stealing From Hotels. I've Been Doing It For So Long, I Have A Set Of Towels From The Ark.

I Was Not An Attractive Child.

My Parents Hated Me. All I Ever Heard Was, "why Can't You Be Like Your Cousin Shelia? Why Can't You Be Like Your Cousin Shelia?" Shelia Had Died At Birth.