As A Comedian, Especially One That Works

Comedy Is My Passion. I'm Going To Do This Until I Drop.

Kids, Man, They're Way Too Honest. They're Like Mini-alcoholics.

Now I Understand Why People Do Drugs, Why People Drink, And Why People Go Crazy. As The Success Level Goes Up And Up And Up, The Further Detached I Get From Everybody Else. Luckily, With My Girlfriend, Everything Is Gravy Because I Brought Her Into It. I Brought Her In And She's Very Hands On With My Career.

If I Wouldn't Have Done Comedy, I Would Have Been A Teacher. I Was Really Good When I Took An Exploratory Teaching Class In High School, At Getting Kids' Attention, And Delivering Lesson Plans. Though My Principal Even Told Me That This Was What I Was Meant To Do. And That Being A Big-mouth Comedian Was A Waste Of Time.

As Far As Guys Who Perform Onstage, I Love Chris Rock. I'm Kind Of Jaded On Everyone Else.