When I Was A Kid I Did

I Like To Tell Old Jokes On Stage After About An Hour, Or An Hour And A Half. I'll Bring Those Old Ones Back Because The Fans Love Them.

The Response You Get When You're Young Like "oh You're Just Getting Laughs Because You're A Little Kid And You're Cute". They Weren't Trying To Encourage Me At All Or Tell Me To Keep Pursuing This.

I'm A Big Boy, But I Can Get Jiggy With It. Ladies, I Will Go To Dance Clubs, And I Will Tear It Up Hardcore For A Good 30 Seconds.

Walgreens, Rite Aid, Cvs And Wal-mart Have All Figured Out The Evolution Of Life And They Grabbed All The Products That Are Necessary For A Life. And They Stuck Them In One Aisle And They Put Them In Order According To How You Mess Up... First Thing You're Going To See: Condoms. Next To That: Lubricant. Next To That: Pregnancy Test. Next To That: Pampers. Next To That: Formula. And At The End Of The Aisle They Sell Beer.

There's Nowhere In The Country That I Can't Go Or Won't Go. I Think It's Because I've Worked On Making My Show Where Everyone Can Understand It, Everyone Can Relate To It, And No One Feels Like I'm Alienating Them.