An Author's First Duty Is To Let

The Bible Was A Consolation To A Fellow Alone In The Old Cell. The Lovely Thin Paper With A Bit Of Matress Stuffing In It, If You Could Get A Match, Was As Good A Smoke As I Ever Tasted.

You Made One Mistake. You Married Me.

There Is No Human Situation So Miserable That It Cannot Be Made Worse By The Presence Of A Policeman.

Critics Are Like Eunuchs In A Harem; They Know How It's Done, They've Seen It Done Every Day, But They're Unable To Do It Themselves.

I Only Take A Drink On Two Occasions - When I'm Thirsty And When I'm Not.