All I Ever Learned At My Mother's

Self-pity Is Better Than None.

When I Was A Kid And We Used To Play Post Office, I Was The Dead Letter Office.

The Reason I'm Not An Alcoholic Is I Don't Like To Drink In Front Of The Kids . . . And When You're Away From Them, Who Needs It?.

Tennis Is Like Marrying For Money. Love Has Nothing To Do With It.

They Always Say To Californians That We Don't Have Seasons. Of Course, That Is Not True. We Have Fire, Flood, Mud And Drought.