Airplanes May Kill You, But They Ain't

I Don't Know How Old I Am Because A Goat Ate The Bible That Had My Birth Certificate In It. The Goat Lived To Be Twenty-seven.

If Your Stomach Disputes You, Lie Down And Pacify It With Cool Thoughts.

Baseball Is The Most Perfect Of Games, Solid, True, Pure And Precious As Diamonds. If Only Life Were So Simple. Within The Baselines Anything Can Happen. Tides Can Reverse; Oceans Can Open. That's Why They Say, We Don't Stop Playing Because We Get Old. We Get Old Because We Stop Playing.

I May Not Be The Bestest Pitcher In The World, But I Sure Out-cutes 'em.

Smile Well And Often, It Makes People Wonder What You've Been Up To.