After Age Twelve, Birthdays Should Be As

My Mother Won't Admit It, But I've Always Been A Disappointment To Her. Deep Down Inside, She'll Never Forgive Herself For Giving Birth To A Daughter Who Refuses To Launder Aluminium Foil And Use It Over Again.

You Become About As Exciting As Your Food Blender. The Kids Come In, Look You In The Eye, And Ask If Anybody's Home.

Onion Rings In The Car Cushions Do Not Improve With Time.

Car Designers Are Just Going To Have To Come Up With An Automobile That Outlasts The Payments.

I'm On A Diet As My Skin Doesn't Fit Me Anymore.