A Lot Of The U.s. Used To

From This Moment On I'd Dedicate My Life To Rock And Roll And Take As Many Drugs As Possible. What Could Possibly Go Wrong?

Democrats Are Calling Christine O'donnell 'the Sarah Palin Of The East.' Really? She's A Loud, Emotionally Unstable Woman From Delaware. That's Not Sarah Palin, That's Joe Biden.

On That Same Tour We Ran Into A Band At Aylesbury Friars, A Biggish Venue In Oxfordshire, England. They Were A Four-piece From Ireland Called U2. They Seemed Like Nice Fellows And They Sounded Pretty Good, But We Didn’t Keep In Touch. They’re Probably Taxi Drivers And Accountants By Now.

Late Night Is No Different Than Making A Film, Really, Except That It's Faster, And If You Do A Crap One, You Can Do A Better One Tomorrow. Writing A Novel And Doing Stand-up - That Stuff Is Very Similar.

School Did Give Me One Of The Greatest Gifts Of My Life, Though. I Learned How To Read, And For That I Remain Thankful. I Would Have Died Otherwise. As Soon As I Was Able, I Read, Alone. Under The Covers With A Flashlight Or In My Corner Of The Attic—i Sought Solace In Books. It Was From Books That I Started To Get An Inkling Of The Kinds Of Assholes I Was Dealing With. I Found Allies Too, In Books, Characters My Age Who Were Going Through Or Had Triumphed Against The Same Bullshit.