Gas Prices - It Is $6 A

Other Than The Laws Of Physics, Rules Have Never Really Worked Out For Me.

These Days, Teachers Have It Rough. Kids Can Be Hyperactive, Disobedient, And Obnoxious. It Must Feel Like Being Locked In A Room Of Drunk Midgets.

It's Earth Day Today. Let Me Tell You Something About Polar Bears. They're Endangered But You Have To Be Careful Because A Polar Bear Is One Of The Few Animals That Will Stalk A Human. If You Go To Where Polar Bears Live, It Might Stalk You And When You're On The Plane Going Home, It Might Be Behind You Reading.

Ratings Experts Say The Best Way To Get People To Watch During Sweeps Is To Leave The Audience With A Question That Won't Be Answered Until The Next Time The Show Is On. You Know, Like Who Shot J.r.? I Like To Think I Do This Every Night - The Question Is, Is This Show Still On?

I Just Do My Thing And Try Each Show To Be More Honest About Why I Am And Who I Am. It's Quite Tricky And Actually Nerve-racking To Do That. It's Kind Of A Happy Train Wreck.