List of John Mortimer Quotes

The Officers Of The Branch Of The Force (the Obscene Publications Squad) Have A Discouraging Club Tie, On Which A Book Is Depicted Being Cut In Half By A Larger Pair Of Scissors.

There's More Of Yourself In A Book Than A Play. That's Why We Know All About Dickens And Not Much About Shakespeare. Ben Jonson Murdered People; Marlowe Was A Spy; Shakespeare Just Sat In The Corner And Took Notes.

The Worst Fault Of The Working Classes Is Telling Their Children They're Not Going To Succeed, Saying: There Is Life, But It's Not For You.

I'd Been Told Of All The Things You're Meant To Feel When Your Father Dies. Sudden Freedom, Growing Up, The End Of Dependence, The Step Into The Sunlight When No One Is Taller Than You And You're In No One's Shadow. I Know What I Felt. Lonely.

Farce Is Tragedy Played At A Thousand Revolutions Per Minute.

I Don't Believe In Children's Books. I Think After You've Read Kidnapped, Treasure Island, And Huckleberry Finn, You're Ready For Anything.

The Main Aim Of Education Should Be To Send Children Out Into The World With A Reasonably Sized Anthology In Their Heads So That, While Seated On The Lavatory, Waiting In Doctors' Surgeries, On Stationary Trains Or Watching Interviews With Politicians, They May Have Something Interesting To Think About.

Irritable Judges Suffer From A Bad Case Of Premature Adjudication.

Never Shake Hands With Colleagues In Court; The Customers Think You're Making Deals.

The Freedom To Make A Fortune On The Stock Exchange Has Been Made To Sound More Alluring Than Freedom Of Speech.

The Old Middle-class Prerogative Of Being Permanently In A Most Filthy Temper.

A War Against Terrorism Is An Impracticable Conception If It Means Fighting Terrorism With Terrorism.