Never Shake Hands With Colleagues In Court;

To Escape Jury Duty In England, Wear A Bowler Hat And Carry A Copy Of The Daily Telegraph.

Dying Is A Matter Of Slapstick And Pratfalls. The Ageing Process Is Not Gradual Or Gentle. It Rushes Up, Pushes You Over And Runs Off Laughing. No One Should Grow Old Who Isn't Ready To Appear Ridiculous.

The People Look Forbidding, Solemn, Marked By That Impossible Ideal, Communism, Which, Like Christianity, Seemed To Demand Too Much Of Humanity And, Falling Into The Wrong Hands, Led Too Easily To Horrible Brutality.

Never Believe A Rumour Until You Hear It Officially Denied.

The Freedom To Make A Fortune On The Stock Exchange Has Been Made To Sound More Alluring Than Freedom Of Speech.