Young. Old. Just Words.

You Can't Help Getting Older, But You Don't Have To Get Old.

People Ask Me What I'd Most Appreciate Getting For My Eighty-seventh Birthday. I Tell Them, A Paternity Suit.

When They Saw Me Walking Down The Street Smoking A Cigar, They'd Say, 'hey, That 14-year-old Kid May Be Going Places.' Of Course It's Also A Good Prop On The Stage ... When You Can't Think Of What You're Supposed To Say Next, You Can Puff On Your Cigar Until You Think Of Your Next Line.

My Major Contribution To The Format Was To Suggest That I Be Able To Step Out Of The Plot And Speak Directly To The Audience, And Then Be Able To Go Right Back Into The Action. That Was An Original Idea Of Mine; I Know It Was Because I Originally Stole It From Thornton Wilder's Play Our Town.

Sex Is The Universal Language In Which Nobody Speaks; They Don't Have To.