You Say Tomato, I Say Bourbon And

I Was Raised By Just My Mom. See, My Father Died When I Was Eight Years Old. At Least, That's What He Told Us In The Letter.

And For You Kids Watching At Home, Remember, The Less Homework You Do And The Closer You Sit To The Tv, The More Points You Get.

I Was Just Sick Of Being Fat, You Know? You Get Sick Of It. It Just Really, It's A Tiring Lifestyle To Have.

I Never Thought I Was A Libertarian Until I Picked Up Reason Magazine And Realized I Agree With Everything They Had Printed.

The First Monopoly Game I Played With My Brothers, I Hated Losing So Much, I Just Had To Beat Them.