It Sucks Being Fat, You Know.

Just Because A Guy Has A Shaved Head, Pierced Nipples, And Doesn't Have Sex With Women Doesn't Make Him Gay. It Just Makes Him Down On His Luck.

That's The Great Thing About Having Your Friends Around You. I've Known These Guys Forever. I Really Enjoy Their Company Just As People. You Couldn't Ask For A Better Work Environment.

If You're Wearing A Bluetooth Thing And You've Got That Thing On Your Belt, You Are Working For Somebody Else. You Are Not The Guy In Charge. That's A Really Good Social Status Indicator.

My Cranky Cardiologist Says I'm Destined To Die In The Kitchen.

I Do Get The Comics Online I Guess But It's Such A Pain. I'd Rather Just Get Them In The Paper And Read Them.