It Sucks Being Fat, You Know.

Listen, You Don't Know Any Better So I'll Just Tell You. You Can't Try To Save Money By Not Having The Right Beer. You Know, You Can Skip Having Medical Insurance, You Can Buy Everything You Own At A Swap Meet But The Right Beer Is What Makes Living Like This Possible.

There Is No Such Thing As Too Much Fun. People Need To Know It Is O.k. To Tell Jokes And Be Happy.

I Don't Think There's Hardly A Comic Out There That Does Clean Material All The Way Around. There's A Couple Of Guys That Are Clean, But I'm Not One Of Them.

Everybody In Hollywood Loves Symbolic Gestures.

The Easiest Diet Is, You Know, Eat Vegetables, Eat Fresh Food. Just A Really Sensible Healthy Diet Like You Read About All The Time.